The Shack's Werewolf
by Red Moon Lollipop
Summary: There's a new rumor surrounding the Shrieking Shack. Remus is mortified, and the rest of the Marauders can't stop laughing. And everyone else just thinks they're plain crazy. But really, who can blame them?


**Okay, this was pretty much the result of me jumping into a story without any idea where I'm taking it. Don't expect any profound wisdom; just teenage boys being teenage boys. Hopefully you still will like it. **

**Disclaimer: I own copies of the Harry Potter books. I own copies of all the Harry Potter movies. I even own a poster with a picture of Harry Potter on it. But one thing I do not own is Harry Potter itself. Unfortunately. **

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"One more... Just one more..."

The air in the Griffindor common room was tense with excitement. A small audience of three surrounded the form of a young man. His eyes squinted, and wand clutched tight, he slowly guided a floating card to the top of a tower.

"... YES!"

Sirius Black jumped up in excitement, slipping his wand into his pocket. "I did it!" he cried jubilantly. He turned to his sullen best friend. "You owe me five Gallions, Prongs!"

"Here," James Potter grumbled, shoving over the money.

"That was so cool, Padfoot!" Peter Pettigrew gushed, staring at Sirius in amazement.

James turned to the tower of cards. "I still can't believe you did that," he said incredulously.

Sirius smirked. "Never doubt the ability of Sirius Black with a wand in his hand!"

"So I can doubt your ability if you don't have a wand in your hand?" Remus Lupin said innocently, glancing up from his book, earning a glare from Sirius.

"No! _Never_ doubt the amazing capabilities I possess!" Sirius ordered haughtily. "You must all bow down at my feet!"

Lily Evans rolled her eyes from the chair she was doing her homework at. "Don't you have anything better to do?" she demanded.

"I would, if you'd accept my Hogesmade invintation," James said eagerly. "Go to Hogesmade with me, Evans?"

She scoffed. "As if, Potter."

"Are you guys going to Hogesmade too?" The five of them turned to see Alice Prewett and Frank Longbottom coming down the stairs. "Or did James just get rejected by Lily again?"

James scowled at his friends sniggers. "Just you wait. Lily's going to fall for me eventually, then we're going to get married and have a baby boy, whom we're going to name Harry James Potter, and he's going to look just like me, except with Lily's eyes," he stated matter-of-factly.

He earned a few stares from this.

Lily shook her head in disbelief. "I don't want to know what you think about in your free time," she muttered.

"Only you, my love!" James sang to her, and she made a face.

"What are you guys talking about?" They looked to see Marlene McKinnon and Mary McDonald walk into the room, bundled up in their winter clothes.

"James' undying love for Lily," Peter stated, and the two girls nodded, not even blinking from this revelation. "Where'd you go?"

"Hogesmade," Marlene told them, throwing her hat on a chair.

"We went to go check out the Shrieking Shack," Mary added.

Unless you were watching them closely, it was hard to tell that the Marauders' interest were piqued. "The Shrieking Shack?" Remus repeated.

Mary nodded. "And what a disappointment it was! Have you guys heard the new rumors about it?"

They all shook their heads, looking confused.

"Well, you all know that it's famous for the screams coming from its interior," Marline noted. At their nods, she continued. "But apparantly someone noticed that the screams only happened once a month, on the full moon."

The Marauders visibly paled, Remus by far the most.

"So now people are saying that there's a werewolf living there, or something. So me and Mary went to go see-"

"If there's a werewolf there?!" Remus stood up suddenly, white and shaking. "Do you _want_ to get killed?!"

Mary waved her hands frantically. "No! We weren't going to _reveal_ ourselves to it! We just wanted to see if the other rumors were true.

Remus frowned, sitting down. "The other rumors?"

Marlene nodded. "Yup. You know those people who have gone missing?"

James nodded. "Yeah. But what do they have to do with anything?"

"Well, some say that that one guy the Ministry's freaking out about took them, Voldemort or something. But others are saying that the werewolf in the shack kidnapped them, and engaged in sexual activity with the victims."

Remus' jaw dropped open, and his face turned a fascinating shade of puce. Sirius, James, and Peter burst into fits of laughter. "Wha- a-se- sexual activity?" Remus choked out. "Wh- where'd this come from?"

The two girls shrugged, slightly disturbed by their extreme reactions. "We don't really know who started it. We just heard it."

Frank frowned. "Weren't the kidnappees girls and guys? And children?"

"The werewolf isn't picky," Mary replied.

By now, Remus' face was a sickly shade of green, and his three friends were rolling on the ground laughing, tears coming from their eyes in their mirth.

Lily stared incredulously at the four boys. "What is wrong with you guys?" she asked rhetorically, shaking her head in exasperation. "I'm just going to study in the library." And with that, she left.

Alice glanced at them in amusement. "Well, that was fun and all, but Frank and I ought to get going. Maybe we'll go check out the shack, too."

"Don't bother," Marlene told her with annoyance. "Apparantly nobody's home today. Mary, don't even bother trying to get an explanation out of them. I swear, those guys have mental problems. "

Soon, the two girls headed upstairs, and Frank and Alice left the common room. Remus was left to try and get his friends under control.

"Stop laughing! It isn't funny! Apparantly someone thinks that I... That I..." His face screwed up in disgust, and he groaned. "Oh, Merlin, I think I'm going to be sick."

The guys' laughter slowly receded into light chuckles. "I- I have to say," Sirius snickered. "This was one of my better pranks. Moony the sexual assailant! Brilliant!"

His good mood was cut short as he felt a dark aura directed at him. "What did you say?!" Remus growled. "You started that rumor?!"

Sirius gulped in apprehension as he looked upon the angry werewolf's face. "I- I didn't mean any harm by it, I just heard the original rumor that a werewolf lived there, and I had to take advanta- What are you getting out that wand for? No, no, I swear, if you don't hex me, I'll give you as much chocolate as you want! Moony, please, have merc- Eyaagh!"

Pretty soon, Sirius was running around the common room, dodging curses from a furious Remus. James and Peter looked on in amusement.

"Honestly," James said, shaking his head. "Who else would come up with a ridiculous rumor like that? Only Sirius." He then smirked. "Unless, of course, you count the one we started about how Sirius' harassing of Snivellus is a disguise for his deep, tragic love for him. I don't think he's even noticed that half of the girls in the school giggle whenever the two come within 10 meters of each other."

"Life is good when you're mutilating your friend's reputation," Peter agreed happily.

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